When we have a problem, what’s the first thing we often do? We look online. We search:
“what do I get my teenage daughter for her birthday?”
“how can I be more calm after a stressful day at work?”
“why can’t I fall asleep at night?”
What once was a source of boundless opinions and ideas, is now a mine for tips, tricks and advice. The web is no longer just regarded as a source of information, it has become our personal problem-solving consultant. And while there are many reputable sites with evidence-based, factual information - very little, if any, is personalised to your needs. In contrast, the people we work for, live for and look up to in our everyday lives, know our personal needs and values, sometimes, even better than ourselves. They can provide us with guidance, with help and with solutions.
Thus, I challenge you to take a step back and look at your life. Who do you look up to? What are the strengths of those around you?
Once you intentionally look around, you might be surprised what you find. A co-worker might be a better communicator, your boss may be more emotionally intelligent and your friend at the gym might be a better learner. Then, don’t be afraid to ask them for advice and guidance on matters you care about. Examples include, “what could I do to improve in my role?” or “what advice do you have for me to advance my career” or even, ”how did you go about X?” whether X be starting this business, obtaining their position or changing their career. Then, follow up. Check with them that you’ve correctly implemented their suggestions and improved based on their feedback. By doing this, they’re more likely to give you advice for further improvement and, they’ll know that their advice was valued.
Often the guidance we receive from those in our everyday lives, spontaneously, can be the best advice we get.
Not because the people around us are the most knowledgeable, but because they’ve spent the most time with us; they’ve seen our weaknesses, our strengths, our character flaws and the value we bring.
While self-reflection is valuable and so important, sometimes our assumptions blind us from hidden truths and our perspectives bias us to look over key insights. A way around this is to hear the perspectives of others. By doing this, we can be mentored, we can be taught and we can be transformed.