Note to readers: Some phrases and ideas from this article are taken directly from Tim Ferris’ ted talk - they are by no means my own words, concepts or techniques.
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This exercise is all about getting over our fear. Our fear of starting a business. Our fear of ending a relationship. Our fear of moving jobs or careers. Often, we’ll know what we should do but we don’t take any action. Even if this is what we want to do. Something always stops us. An irrational fear.
So do we overcome it? How do we understand whether our fears our grounded in good judgement or intangible “what ifs?” We do this through fear setting.
The process is simple.
Start by defining what the action/change is. It could be any of the examples above or something smaller like joining an exercise class, meeting up someone you’ve lost touch with or even, stopping work for the day at a set time.
We’ll go with joining the exercise class as an example for now.
Then, with this in mind, follow the steps below.
Define
Start with defining all of the worst things you can imagine happening if you take that step (10 - 20).
For example, (in relation to joining an exercise class):
Using incorrect technique
Injuring yourself
Waking up sore
Embarrassing yourself in front of others.
|Often we'll hyper-fixate on the worst case scenarios so it's good to get them out of your head, onto paper.
Prevent
Then, go to the next column and ask yourself, what could I do to prevent each of these things from happening or, at the very least, decrease the likelihood? (even a little bit).
This could include:
Watching videos and practicing the technique for the exercises you’ll be executing
Starting with beginner modifications/lower intensity sessions
Stretching after each class
Choosing a spot in the back corner (where no one will be seeing you)
|It's easy to forget that there's often action we can take to reduce the likelihood of our fears becoming reality.
Repair
Next, consider If the worst-case scenarios do end up happening, what could you do to repair the damage (even a little bit) or, at the very least, who could you ask for help?
For our example, you could:
Ask the instructor for guidance or private sessions
See a physiotherapist
Apply heat packs to your sore muscles (I’m not an expert on this - not sure if this actually works!)
Improve your technique so it’s clear that was a beginner’s error!
|There's usually something we can do to help mitigate the impact of our worst-case scenarios.
Ask yourself, “What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success?”
Could it strengthen your relationships? Reduce your stress? Bring more fulfilment to your life? Set you up better financially?
This doesn’t have to be exhaustive, but it should be expansive and articulate.
Going back to prior example, some factors could include:
Improving your social connectedness with like-minded people
Creating more structure into your otherwise spontaneous exercise habits
Strengthening your mental toughness and resilience
Improving your overall fitness level
Building your strength and endurance
Embedding moments of success into your day
Starting/finishing your day on a high note
*Remember this is what might happen, not what will happen
|It's easy to overlook benefits of an action due to our tendency to value prospective losses as more detrimental than equivalent gains would be beneficial.
It focuses on what we often neglect. Ask yourself, “if I avoid this action or decision and actions or decisions like it, what might my life look like in a few weeks, months and/or years.” Would you become more stressed? Continue a cycle of self-criticism? Become more isolated?
Returning to the example of joining an exercise class, perhaps you would:
Struggle to walk up multiple flights of stairs
Have limited mobility and balance
Be at considerable risk of heart conditions or a serious fall
Be more irritable and frustrated
Feel unhappy and dissatisfied with your exercise habits
Struggle to play active games with your kids
|This is the part that's so easy to overlook. By maintaining our current habits, there's going to be consequences of those actions. Consequences we rarely consider.
This exercise is as applicable in your career, as it is in your personal matters. Considering what we fear broadens our perspective, forces us to be rational, and examines our situation through a more objective lens. This is not the “how to” but the “why to.” It won’t show you how to make the changes you want but it will show you the actions you most need to take. As a powerful tool in personal change, it’s there for you whenever your stressed, uncertain or just need to work things out. Whenever you fear the actions you most need to take.